- How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Note: Many of these aren't written in measurable lingo, so I'll be editing that in as I go. Don't worry, I'll still be dreaming big! PS If anyone can help me achieve any of these of has methods or ideas- PLEASE SHARE!!!
(I'm not sure how to get them to stop showing up as links)
Friday, July 13, 2012
It's been about 9 months since my last post. It feels like forever and a lot has happened to me since then. Well, nothing has actually happened to me, I've happened to "it" so to speak. I use these words and phrases because I believe that I'm not a victim in my life; I do have a certain amount of control over what is going on. Actually, I can't say that this has been a season of achieving dreams, but I can say that it has been and still is a season of preparation in my life. I can't say completely why this is, but I do know that that's what God has laid on my heart. I'm no longer a woman who sits on the sidelines letting dust just settle around her. I have had my share of shortcomings and trials, but as I sit here, I feel like I've grown stronger as a woman.
Right now I'm seeking to walk down a new path in my career. I also finally mustered the courage to join a gym in February (It might not sound like a terrible feat, but for a very self- conscious, out of shape, and discouraged girl, it certainly was not easy). I had been battling with myself internally for literally years. I was and still am (sometimes) trying to find the best workout with being seen the least. I've overcome a lot of these fears and this sense of shame, but I still cringe at the thought of getting on a workout machine amidst a bunch of super fit people. However, the difference between then and now is that now I get over myself and just do it! My body does not belong to me anyway, it is totally God's and I've got to take care of it! Deep down, I do realize that it's just a confidence issue- I'm not some ogre or anything LOL (If I could just convince myself of this)
God has also began a journey of healing within me. I'm still not to the point where I can openly share much with people in my inner circle (It's weird- I feel much more comfortable talking to strangers about a lot), but many of my chains of the past are being loosed. I don't know why I'm so afraid to surrender it all to God, I guess it's a deep down fear that I'll hurt worse because people will see the real me. I'm working on coming to a place of loving myself. I guess the fact that I've had this realization is the beginning of the staircase that I need to climb in order to resolve the issues.
I've really been opening up to God more and realizing that I can and should be "raw" in His prescence. Because of this, I can feel a real transformation within myself. To be honest, I really don't know where to end this post. I hope that you can understand my ramblings. Honestly, this is more for me than it is for you. I need an outlet and I don't do well with paper journals. I hope you'll comment though!
PS How can I pray for you in this season?
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Anyway, there is this lovely young woman who has been inspiring me daily! Check it out RIGHT NOW! (Yes, I am bossy!)
Chef Katelyn's blog can be found here http://www.chefkatelyn.com/2011/08/07/bigger-than-your-mommas-booty-anniversary-giveaway/
If you're reading this Chef Katelyn: I AM SO THANKFUL FOR YOUR BLOG!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Today, I woke up feeling really crappy. Not physically, but I felt emotionally defeated and depleted. I know we all have days where we feel less than useful, but I’m tired of feeling like this. Deep down in my heart of hearts, I KNOW that God loves me and that I am worth something to Him.
I think maybe a little too often I look for God in all the wrong places. Well at least that’s what I believe God is revealing to me right now. A pastor at a church I used to go to once explained it like this:
So, I hear from Christians all the time about how they’re so tired of looking for the perfect man or woman to date/marry. They tell me all about their efforts and it usually goes like this. . . “Pastor Steve, I went down to the Red Tavern last night and there wasn’t a single wholesome Christian woman/man in sight!”
Funny, right? Gee, I wonder why they didn’t find a mate with strong values. (DISCLAIMER: Yes, I too go to bars and I’m not demeaning any one who enjoys it. I just know that it’s a pretty long shot to go there with pure expectations . This story was purely about seeking the wrong thing in the wrong place- not to lecture about how immoral bars are! LOL)
Now, this is where I compare this tale to my own life. When I need God the most, am I looking for Him in the right places? Do I go to a bar hoping to find Jesus? Not typically . But, do I reach out to find God anywhere but UP most of the time? Unfortunately, YES!
The natural reaction to anything should be to pray, praise, worship, etc. What do I do? Let’s see: pick up the phone, call on other Christians and non-believers alike, talk to negative people, go shopping, smoke (not anymore!!!,) eat, drink, be falsely merry. . .well, you get the point, right?
None of these things satisfy my desire and my longing for the One and True KING of KINGS! I have to stop looking in places I don’t belong! God doesn’t care what I or YOU have done, His grace and mercy cover ALL. . .I know this, but why do I always try to run from grace?! It’s a darn good thing I’m not that fast! haha. No, even YOU can’t outrun Grace!
So, right now, as I publish this unpolished blog, I want YOU to know that I’m praying for YOU and I’m praying for me. I’m also praying that God blesses me with faster legs (Gotta put something about my fitness goals in here haha- [outrun man, but not GRACE!]), but an even stronger heart.
I love you, Lord! Let my ways honor you and help me to seek You where You truly are and for who You truly are. . .
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Those are my "notes/ideas," (hopefully you aren't too bored!) now it's time to talk about my day. Yesterday, I just couldn't get motivated! In the evening, I finally managed to do an hour of Wii Fit. Not bad, but definitely not my best! I'm going to start a food journal (I might blog it?), because everyone seems to be chatting about them. I don't think I'll be a full in food blogger though!
Today I slept in again! Summer kills! lol (I'm a teacher) I'm trying to become a morning person again. I'll let you know how that goes ;) I'll try to add more pictures in the near future- just found my camera! When I touch things, they always seem to disappear!
How are you?
Thanks for reading!!!
*Images were awesomely found at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/